His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I could fuck to npr.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
