I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
