I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
