She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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