There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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