I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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