I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
