real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
