Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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