I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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