Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
