I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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