hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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