I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
