I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Someone signed my nipple.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
