But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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