I want to stick my p in your. b.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Randomize
