He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize