I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
