Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Randomize
