I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
i've created a new STD.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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