I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
