is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
