Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
