Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
