Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
