i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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