i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize