im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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