They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize