your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
