If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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