ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
