It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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