never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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