R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
