do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
They took my balls.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
