Duck Duck Cougar?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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