My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Just puked most of my soul out..
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
