Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
