I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Mom said you looked used
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
