is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
