I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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