Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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