Just mADE A PArabola og urine
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
