the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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