okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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