Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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