he shaved USA in his pubs
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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