You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
