Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
