she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
