He disabled his match.com account in front of me
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
