planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
