sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
