They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
