Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
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