dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
