i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
