Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
