he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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